Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Tattered Tome

After an activity in which we evaluated our Self-Concept during Interpersonal Communication and a rousing discussion during our Study Session, I started driving home. Out of nowhere came the first two lines you will read below. I stopped for milk and other necessities and yet these phrases kept sounding in my head.

So, I sat down at the computer and let the phrases flow and I am amazed at what came about.

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If only everyone else could see me as I see myself

Like a worn and tattered tome on a secondhand bookstore shelf

The jacket that I wear is hiding what is really inside

It only offers me a sense of false and temporary pride

The outside may be clean and dusted, colorful and neat

But underneath the jacket is a history of defeat

The naked bindings of my life

Show many stains of tears, anger, pain and strife

My corners are battered, my edges abused,

And my facade has been negligently misused

Inside are hidden secrets written on pages torn

They are filled with self-recriminations, failures and scorn

Occasional triumphs are recorded, few and far between

Kind words others shared are treasured, make me feel like a queen

If someone were to be allowed to read this shattered account

I am sure they would be surprised at the wasted amount

Of joy that didn’t last long enough, or peace too fleeting

Of the things I allowed to be written, instead of from sin fleeing

If only others could see my life as I really see

Perhaps they would stop judging and just help me become a better me.

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Do you identify with the Book or with the ones to whom the Book is talking to?

I am not sure where I stand, perhaps I identify a little with both parties.


3 comments:

Lozano Family said...

Beautiful.
I am the book, and the judge, and what pages of shame would be written in my book about my harsh judgements of others at times. And pages that have been written about other's judgement of me. Maybe that's why I need to leave all of that to God! What a beautiful and thought provoking piece of work!

Bekki said...

I definitely identify with both. I am the critic at times, and I am the book at other times...

I have so far to go.

Shirley Buxton said...

Jana, this is truly beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.